DeFeaTed

I know...I still haven't posted our Christmas activities yet but it's Wednesday. My most dreaded day of the week. I loathe Wednesdays. It's just a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day....EVERY WEEK.

I try to be an optimistic person, but I'm sure that if you were to ask Ben he would tell you I am a pessimist. He's right (but only on Wednesdays.)

We took on a newspaper route over a year ago. It seemed like a great idea, a bit of extra cash, only once a week, and I could feel like I was helping out with the finances a bit. I fold the majority of the papers and Ben comes home and delivers them after work. Seems easy enough right? WRONG.
I hate everything about it. I hate that I am stressed about it from the minute I wake up in the mornings. I hate that I have to plan my entire day around when the delivery truck arrives in Castle Rock (30 minute drive) with the papers. I hate that my back is so sore and I get paper cuts all over my hands from folding ALL DAY LONG. I hate that Ben and I are both on edge on Wednesdays. I hate that when I finish folding I am so exhausted all I want to do is go to bed. It just seems like a wasted day.

Ben tries to stay positive though and tries to remind me that the money is great (honestly the pay is shockingly amazing) and that we use it for vacations and such so it does help.

All I feel though...is defeated. I am just totally drained. Every Wednesday I feel like I have nothing left to give. Everything has been sucked out of me and I am completely dry. I hate feeling this way and so...I HATE WEDNESDAYS!

I heard a quote that I have been reciting over and over in my head on many different occasions recently...

"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay then it's not the end."
~Paolo Coelha

This is becoming one of my favorite quotes. Simply put, I love it.

Here's hoping that these newspapers won't be the end of me.

Merry Christmas!

Thanks to my neighbor Jackie for having the patience (and talent) to get a family picture of us with no one crying or hitting each other.
Also, my amazing cousin Krista, always does such a great job putting a card together for us.
Love you guys!

One for the History Books

At the grocery store today in the checkout line...

A little girl was staring at Kai. I leaned over and said, "Kai, why don't you say 'Hi' to the little girl? She wants to be your friend."

Kai looked me straight in the eye and replied, "No Mommy, she's not pretty."

Same Story...Different Year

We took the kids to visit Santa at the mall on Friday night. I was really optimistic this year because the kids have seen a few Santa shows and seem to like him. We have talked about Santa and I thought they felt comfortable with him...or at least the idea of him anyway.
There has only been ONE year out of THREE where no one was crying on Santa's lap and I'm not sure if it even counts b/c Kai was a newborn and slept through the whole experience.
Last year Cic just stared at Santa and Kai screamed...this year they traded places.

Cic was so excited when we were standing in line. She kept looking through the fence trying to see Santa.
Kai joined in on the excitement and they were both looking in on Santa.
We waited about 20 minutes to get our pictures taken and the kids were so happy throughout the entire wait. We even watched a few kids get their pictures taken before we were up and the kids both practiced what they wanted to tell him. Kai wanted to tell Santa he wants a "Spiderman Watch" and Cic wants a "Baby".
When it was our turn, our game faces turned into absolute TERROR. I have never seen Cicilee more scared than when I sat her on Santa's lap. He was a great Santa and smiled and held on tight to my screaming, kicking, crying child. She was so upset that she flung her shoe across the room. I thought for sure Santa would lose his grip. It was the kind of scream that probably scared all the other children in line behind us. (I'm surprised that everyone behind us still had the courage to see Santa. From the screams of Cicilee you would have thought he just beheaded our child.)
Kai on the other hand, walked right up to Santa and without any sort of greeting said (under his breath), "I want a spiderman watch" and then proceeded to walk away. He didn't want to touch Santa much less sit on his lap and smile for our annual picture.
He just sat there and stared at Ben like, "Really Dad...This is NOT fun."
Ben makes fun of me b/c it's obvious that our kids HATE Santa. He always asks me why I insist on buying pictures of our kids crying. Honestly, I love them. Not the fact that the kids are crying...just the memory of that night. To me they are totally worth it.

I just had to include this picture of Kai and Cic taken today after Church. I thought it was only appropriate to end this post with a happy picture of my kids.

a DeCeMBeR To ReMeMBeR

I heard on the news today that there are only two weeks until Christmas. Holy cow. Where has this month gone?!
I have been putting off posting pictures b/c I just can't seem to find the time. We gave Cici her first haircut tonight and I realized that I needed to post pictures b/c I was so behind.
Here is some of what we have been up to...

Cic turned 18 months old!
My baby isn't a baby anymore. It makes me so sad. She is such a blast to be around. She has the funniest little personality and is so loving. She says a few things now...mostly she will try and repeat whatever I say.
She is constantly calling, "Mama" or "Daddy".
"Bye Bye"
"Puppy"
"Happy"
"Choo" (aka drink)
"Peese" (please)
"Thank you"
"Welcome"
"Eat"
"Chip"
"Cookie"
"Candy"
There are many more but I can't think of them right now. She is quite the talker.
She is such a daddy's girl and LOVES when Ben comes home from work. She wants ALL of his attention and wants to wrestle with him. He is so good with her.
Cic also absolutely LOVES Kai. He is her best friend. It's kinda a funny relationship b/c he isn't exactly nice to her all the time. He kinda beats her up and she just worships him. (Hopefully he will learn to be nicer to her.) It scares me to death that they might end up having the same relationship that I do with my brother. Haven't quite figured out how to ensure that doesn't happen.
Cic also loves babies. She is already so nurturing. It makes me realize just how much she watches what I do.
Cic started going to nursery in church. I remember when Kai first started nursery and now I have two kiddos there. I cannot wait until Kai starts primary. Having the both of them in nursery is hard b/c Kai is starting to regress. He is fighting for attention.
Cic was so excited to walk into nursery b/c they started out with snack time. This girl loves to eat.
These pictures were taken on her first day of nursery.

Love this crooked smile.
I recently went to our wards "Super Saturday" and made several fun things. One of them was cute aprons for the kids. Yup...Ben bought me a sewing machine a few Christmas' ago and I finally put it to good use.
I love how they turned out and Kai and Cic love them.

2010 Christmas Tree Hunt

We went hunting for our tree again this year. There were several families who were originally going to come with us but one by one they all kinda fell through. We decided to go anyway and had a ball. It was so much fun. Just our little family being led by our mountain man (Ben).
It turned out to be a crazy day. We always go the day after Thanksgiving and this year I decided to wake up early (2:30am) and hit up some of the sales. I had never before ventured out to the stores on black Friday but I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. After returning home with all my loot we had breakfast and then headed out for the mountains. A flat tire and 1 1/2 hours later we were still in Highlands Ranch trying to get to the mountains. Maybe it was a good thing that we didn't go with other people. How annoying would we have been?

Anyway, when we finally got to the mountains the weather was PERFECT. Blue skies and sunny. I had packed gear to keep everyone warm in the snow and we were all peeling off layers the entire time.

We always seem to find better trees up a fairly steep mountain (probably b/c no one else wants to climb it to find a tree.) This year was not different. We climbed the mountain...me packing Kai, and Cic in the backpack with Ben for part of the way.

Kai was so excited to be close to so many real "chiphant tees" (aka Christmas Trees)
Kai and Cic sitting in front of our tree before Ben cut it down.

1/2 way up the mountain Ben needed to venture off a bit wider for the perfect tree so he gave me the backpack with Cic and I still had Kai. (Not so easy.)

I guess he thought I was going just fine b/c on the way down the mountain he said, "Alright, let's go find the car" and just started the descent. My arms were already on fire from packing Kai (probably didn't have to pack him up the mountain as much as I did but I was too paranoid he was going to fall and slide down). I could have sworn that my shoulders were going to fall off from the backpack too. I just kept thinking down has got to be easier than up. WRONG. It was a workout. Seriously. Not just in my upper body...my quads were on fire. As much as I was dying...It was awesome. Great workout. I would totally do it again.

Here are me and both kiddos right by the road before we got back in the car to go home.

Ben was exhausted (which I don't really understand why. It's not like he had been up in the wee hours of the morning shopping or packing the kids around on the hunt.) Boys will be boys though.

You can totally tell he is wasted in this pic though. I'm just glad he put the tree up for me before he laid down for the night. :)

Thanks Benny!

Kai and I finally finished decorating the tree at 10:00pm that night. It was a really long day for me and yes I let Kai stay up until the tree was done. It was just nice to have company while I did it. He was such a good helper. Gingerbread house 2010

We have made a gingerbread house every single year since we've been married. It's such a fun tradition. This year we invited a few friends over to do it with us. It's fun now because the kids are starting to get into it. I am learning to "let go." Things don't need to be perfect on the house and if Kai wants to put random pieces of candy in places then great. :)

The Rogers
The Sanders
Cici's First Haircut

Cici AKA MacGruber desperately needed a haircut. I have been struggling with this b/c she doesn't have much hair to begin with. I really wanted her hair to grow and why should I cut the little hair that she does have?

Well, b/c she had a TOTAL MULLET. No kidding. Her hair looked so similar to the MacGruber character on Saturday Night Live it was ridiculous. I was in serious denial.

No matter how many bows or headbands I used to try and cover up her mullet it was still there. So, tonight after dinner I told Ben it was getting chopped. Cic was so excited. (Probably just b/c all eyes were on her.)

We sat her in a chair and told her to look down so we could see how much to cut off. This is what she did.

The funny thing about her mullet is that is was mostly on ONE SIDE. Yup, her left side is thicker and longer than the right. Just like Ben. Crazy!
This isn't a very good picture of the before, but you can kinda see the "MacGruber" hair.
Of course I wanted to keep the "first haircut lock" for her baby book.
Again, "Ok Cic, look down." Not sure why she thinks this helps. We just went with it. She was a trooper the whole time and was pretty excited actually.
Tada! So much better right? No more long, scraggly, wispy, thin, baby fine, "please cut me" stands!
She was so happy!

So glad I posted these pictures. Now I can enjoy these last two weeks before Christmas.

Hopefully we'll get a good picture with Santa this year. (Pretty sure Cic is going to cry though.)

A nEw fAvOrItE

Love this group!
My new favorite version of "12 Days of Christmas"

Also, love this mix...