"...To THe MooN aND BaCK..."

I had an experience tonight with Kai that I always want to remember...

We did our regular routine...bath, read a story, say prayers, go to bed. It was a normal evening and Kai helped me tuck Cic in her crib before we went to his room. He jumped right into bed since he didn't nap today and was pretty tired. He gave me a huge smile and I immediately knew that he wanted to play our "I love you game."
I started it off.
Me~ "I love you Kai. I love you to the moon and back one time."
Kai~ "I love you to the moon in back two time."
Me~ "I love you to the moon and back three times."

This game is played until I finally give up and tell him he must love me an awful lot. He always wants to "one up" me. He's usually satisfied if I have a big enough reaction to his number.

Tonight we played to the number six and then I agreed and said that I loved him to the moon and back six times too. I was standing in the doorway when we both laughed and I thought the game was over and he was satisfied. I came downstairs and started picking up the house and all of a sudden heard Kai sobbing in his room. I was so confused because I had just left his side and he was happy.
When I opened his door I found a sad little boy. Kai was laying in bed, his cheeks wet with tears, and his eyes were all welled up.

Before I could even get a word out, he started up in a weak voice, "I love you in the moon and back like..."
When he says "like" instead of a number it means that he needs help with the next number and is waiting for me to answer him.
I guessed and replied, "six."
He started crying, "no."
So, I guessed, "seven."

All of a sudden the tears stopped. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "I love you in the moon and back seven time."

He then rolled over to go to sleep.

He was just frustrated that he couldn't remember what came after six...wanted me to know that he loved me more than six times.
Oh Kai, I love you. Thanks for making my day. You always know how to make me feel so special.

a NeW LoVe

One of my very best friends burned me a cd for my birthday and included this song on it. I know it's probably not a new song to anyone but me, but I am so in love with it. It is my new favorite song and I can't get enough of it...or any of Josh Radins songs for that matter. Thanks for thinking of me Ang.
Enjoy!



I have heard this song of his before but just had to include it. Lovin' me some slow songs lately.

"EvErythIng Is gOnnA bE AlrIght"

We have really been put through the ringer this last week with Kai getting sick. Kai and I both got sick, but he really struggled getting over it. He was totally out for about 5 days straight. Kai is a little guy and with this sickness brought weight loss. He just isn't the kind of kid who can afford to lose weight so the doctors wanted to see him. He was prescribed anti nausea medication and was put on probiotics. They told me that if things didn't improve by the next day that he would have to be admitted.
Sure enough, the day after he was given anti nausea medication things started to improve but he was still struggling and had no appetite for food or liquid.
He finally started to perk up and show some life later on this week. It was so frustrating because every time I thought that things were turning around for us, he would take another dive. We had several sleepless nights and load after load of laundry.
To make matters worse, the weather has been so nice but we have spent all our time indoors recovering. Poor Cic has really wanted to get out and play and we just couldn't. It honestly felt like we were grounded.
We finally left the house this weekend and went to dinner and shopped. It was the BEST WEEKEND. It even felt good to just get in the car and go for a drive. Just to leave the house...HEAVEN. We've felt so cooped up and it was just what we needed.

Kai was assigned to give the talk in Primary today. I can't believe I have a kid old enough to be in Primary!? He spoke about King Benjamin and the importance of service. He talked about different ways that he can serve each family member and held up pictures he had colored illustrating each act of service. He loves King Benjamin. Every time we talk about King Benjamin he says, "Just like Daddy. My Daddy name is Ben."
I was really nervous that Kai would get up to the front of primary, have stage fright and that I would have to give his talk for him but he did it! HE gave his entire talk. Sure, he was shy and a bit soft spoken but he gave his talk and that's what's important. After we practiced his talk last night before bed, he told me he wanted to wear his suit to church.

Here is my handsome man today after church. He looks so mature in this suit.

It was nice weather today, but super cloudy so the lighting was pretty dark. Cic sat next to Kai on the steps and wanted to take some pictures and I just can't say "no" to pictures of these two cuties!
Ben stood behind me making faces at them and they couldn't resist making them right back.


I love when these two love each other.

Kai is growing up so fast. He is the sweetest little man and takes such good care of me. I know that it should be the other way around but he is always so concerned with how I feel, and how everyone feels for that matter. He is a nurturing little kiddo and I love him to pieces.


Another development this week are our first blooms of the year. I look forward to Spring more than any other season. I love to see flowers come up and start coloring the ground. Everything is still brown and dead so these spots of purple around the yard are just perfect.

I finally can say that Kai's flu is past us and that "Everything is gonna be alright."

A gOOd mOm

We had a really rough weekend. Kai came down with some sort of stomach bug on Saturday morning. We cancelled all our Saturday activities and stayed home with our little "sicklette." Whatever it was, he was hit hard and as the day went on he only got worse. He couldn't keep anything down, developed a fever and was just miserable.

At the end of the day I read my lethargic little man a book as he laid in bed totally helpless. It was heartbreaking to see. We said our prayers and I tucked him in.

Me: "Kai, I'm so sorry you're not feeling well. You have been such a good boy though. I love you."

Kai: "You were a good Mom."



It's these little comments that make being a Mom worth all the cleanup that takes place when your kids are "down and out." Kai I love you!



I went to bed wishing that I could take away his sickness and apparently I tried. I came down with the same thing on Sunday and luckily Ben was home to help out with Cici. Kai and I pretty much slept the day away and stayed in bed snuggling together. We were miserable. Kai didn't move almost all day. He didn't have energy to do anything. He kept thinking that my belly looked like a comfy pillow and his pressure on my stomach only made me feel worse.
All day I kept thinking of his comment, "You were a good Mom." I hope I never forget it.
I'll admit that wanted my Mom yesterday. She was always so good at taking care of me when I didn't feel well. I hope that I can be that kind of Mom to my kids.

It's A bOy!

We went to the doctor last week and found out that we are expecting another little man!
We are thrilled and so excited to meet him. I find myself watching Kai and Cic now wondering how this new addition will change our family dynamic. Each child has brought something new to the family...Kai is my little cuddle bug who is so inquisitive about everything and always concerned with how everyone is feeling. Cic is "Miss Independent" and a fireball. Both totally unique and both hold my heart in their tiny hands. They consume so much of my heart that I wonder how it is possible to love yet another!? I know that it is though, and can't wait to experience the joy of seeing our new little man for the first time and holding him in my arms. Having a baby really embodies, "Love at First Sight."
It is so overwhelming and I am so happy we get to experience it again.

Actually, I was really nervous to find out the sex of this little one. I felt guilty. This might be our last one and I felt like whatever the sex was, someone would lose. If it was a boy, I would feel bad that Cic would never experience what it was like to have a sister. If it was a girl, Kai would never experience what it was like to have a brother. I was excited when we saw that it was a boy but my heart ached for Cic a little.
I grew up with two brothers (one older and one younger actually, JUST LIKE CIC). I ALWAYS wanted a sister. I always admired my friends who had sisters and were really close with them and could stay up late and talk about boys, have things in common, etc. Playing sports my whole life gave me "sisters" though. My teammates became my sisters and I loved them. Now, my close friends are my sisters. I am blessed to have such great friends.
I guess I just haven't had a good experience with brothers. Either actually. It's still not a great experience. I try to be ok with it, not let it influence the way that I raise my kids, but how could it not? They say that the best predictor of the future is the past.

How do you teach your children to really love each other? To protect each other? To never turn their back on one another? Never cut each other out of their lives? To be there for each other. To be...a family? To be proud to be related to one another..."THIS is MY sister." THIS is MY brother.

Ben has been so understanding with my concerns. He has been absolutely amazing and so sweet. Hopefully we will be able to raise a close family who loves each other. My past (or present for that matter) does not predict our family's future.

Here is the baby bump at 21 weeks...

I had to include some pictures of the brother and sister waiting patiently for the arrival of their new brother.
Putting their arm around one another...
Kai knew we were going to have a boy from the beginning. He couldn't be happier with the news.
Only a few more months with just two kiddos.