Friday was my last day at Merrill Lynch and it was so difficult. I kept kicking myself for crying b/c I have known my days were numbered. I put my notice in back in November...but leaving Merrill Lynch was probably one of the hardest decisions I have ever made.
I can honestly admit that I was not the girl who dreamed of being a stay at home mom. I wanted to be a "working girl". I loved the challenge, interaction with others, and environment of working. So, when we found out we were pregnant, I thought, "Ok, no biggie...we have dogs and I leave them during the day. How much different can it be?" (I know my son is not like a dog, I just thought I could detach myself during the day while I was at work and everything would be fine.)
I felt this way until I held him in my arms for the first time. What a rush of emotion that was...I knew I wanted to be with him as much as possible. I have never felt an immediate love for someone like I did when I first held Kai. My life has never been the same since.
I loved my job at Merrill more than I can describe. (I have a huge lump in my throat just thinking about it). Merrill was a blessing...everything about it was.
As much as I am going to miss my job, I am going to miss everyone there more. I have four brothers and always wanted a sister. I used to pray for a sister...little did I know that my prayers would be answered about 22 years later. Now I have several sisters. Ones that I love more than anything. I am going to miss seeing them on a daily basis, and hearing all the stories about their lives. We have laughed and cried together.
Moving to Colorado has been difficult, b/c it is hard to find real, consistent friends. I found true friends at Merrill Lynch and it broke my heart to leave.
They say when one door closes, another opens...Here's to a new beginning...
4 comments:
Ashley,
I started crying just thinking about you leaving Merrill. I feel like I am one of your Merrill girls...You will know you made the right decision every-time Kai does something for the first time and you are there..I am so glad we have become such great friends....Miss you and Ben...Can't wait to see you, hopefully soon.
Ash,
It literally brought tears to my eyes reading that. I think we have both shared that torn feeling and I'm so glad we have been able to talk about it. I feel like no one understands that decision like you do. Kai will certainly thank you for that decision though one day. I know I am forever grateful that my Mom was always home and there for us. You are really brave and I admire you so much. I miss you all the time. I'll call you when I get home today. You did the right thing.. promise. Remember he will only be little ONCE.
Ash check your spelling.
I had the exact same feelings when I was pregnant with jeffrey-he's my oldest. I loved my job and didn't want to quit but knew it was the right decision-and I've been happy about my choice ever since.
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